I know many of us are re-evaluating, re-living or re-assessing this past year. It's human nature to do this at the first of a new year. I'm sure emotions of pain and confusion are at the forefront of your heart and mind. This morning I was clearing out my emails and came across an email from O telling me he was no longer in love with me and he was ready to rebuild his life without me. What stuck out, was his need to preface that if I responded to not waste my time bringing up God because he didn't want to hear it. He said the devil did not have his mind and he just doesn't "subscribe" to the things I believe in. I looked at the date and it was around the time he proposed to this woman. Let me first say that O is a believer and has accepted that Christ is his Lord and Savior. So has this woman. They both believe they have been made right with God. The enemy is so cunning. Immediately I began to think about how happy O was in his new life and how I have had to work so hard getting to a place of feeling content and whole. I began to think...."God, how is this fair?" "How is it that I have been faithful to my husband and you and he gets to live his best new life while I'm re-establishing mine?" "Do you bless adulterous marriages God, will you bless this union?"
The Holy Spirit didn't waste time ministering to me. The Holy Spirit highlighted in the email the fact that O told me to not bring up God and how he didn't subscribe to the same beliefs. The Holy Spirit affirmed that his statements were true. We are not to use the word of God to manipulate our spouses but it does not denote the fact that the word of God is true. Our spouses do not want to hear the truth. The truth pierces the soul. God uses the truth to convict while Satan uses the truth to condemn and create shame. O and your spouse does not want to feel the conviction, shame or guilt regarding their life choices. The need to reinforce that he doesn't subscribe to what I subscribe to which is the belief of covenant and what God says about covenant speaks to the posture of his heart. His happiness (or what he believes is happiness) supersedes the truth and the word of God.
The Holy Spirit reminded me of truth. "When a person really loves me, they will obey me." "When a person really loves me, they will want my will over their own." The verse Isaiah 29:13 came up in my spirit, "These people worship me with their mouths and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is based on nothing but self"
We must cling to the word of God and not what our eyes see. God cannot bless dishonor, God does not bless disobedience and God does not bless sin. If your spouse has left for unbiblical reasons and even if this earthly divorce has been finalized... it has not been honored in the court of heaven. God gives us the choice of free will, but he does not honor the consequence of that decision when it goes against the word of God. God will never contradict his word or character. Most of our spouses who have a relationship with God have been coached or simply believe on their own that repenting clears them of the act. What they don't understand is an apology to God and repentance are not the same thing. Repentance causes us to turn away from the sin and to surrender to Christ. It causes the persons heart to have Godly sorrow and a desire to please God. This is true repentance. Saying "I repent" and returning back to what God sees as vomit is not forgiven.
Having this experience with God this morning just re-enforces that our spouses souls are at stake. Because Satan has them exactly where he wants them, in sin...he will solidify the illusion of happiness. STAY on your post. Continue to pray for salvation. Some are deceived and some know exactly what they are doing because their minds are so depraved. In both situations they need Christ.
GOD WILL NOT BLESS AN ADULTEROUS MARRIAGE! What does the word of God say?
Biblical breakdown of:
DIVORCE/REMARRIAGE/ROLE of CHURCH/REPENTANCE
God hates divorce. He hates it because it always involves unfaithfulness to the solemn covenant of marriage that two partners have entered into before Him, and because it brings harmful consequences to those partners and their children (Mal. 2:14-16). Divorce in the Scripture is permitted only because of man’s sin. Since divorce is only a concession to man’s sin and is not part of God’s original plan for marriage, all believers should hate divorce as God does and pursue it only when there is no other recourse. With God’s help a marriage can survive the worst sins.
In Matthew 19:3-9, Christ teaches clearly that divorce is an accommodation to man’s sin that violates God’s original purpose for the intimate unity and permanence of the marriage bond (Gen. 2:24). He taught that God’s law allowed divorce only because of “hardness of heart” (Matt. 19:8). Legal divorce was a concession for the faithful partner due to the sexual sin, abuse or abandonment by the sinning partner, so that the faithful partner was no longer bound to the marriage (Matt. 5:32; 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:12-15). Although Jesus did say that divorce is permitted in some situations, we must remember that His primary point in this discourse is to correct the Jews’ idea that they could divorce one another “for any cause at all” (Matt. 19:3), and to show them the gravity of pursuing a sinful divorce. Therefore, the believer should never consider divorce except in specific circumstances (see next section), and even in those circumstances it should only be pursued reluctantly because there is no other recourse.
🎯The Grounds for Divorce
The only New Testament grounds for divorce are sexual sin or desertion by an unbeliever. The first is found in Jesus’ use of the Greek word porneia (Matt. 5:32; 19:9). This is a general term that encompasses sexual sin such as adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, and incest. When one partner violates the unity and intimacy of a marriage by sexual sin—and forsakes his or her covenant obligation—the faithful partner is placed in an extremely difficult situation. After all means are exhausted to bring the sinning partner to repentance, the Bible permits release for the faithful partner through divorce (Matt. 5:32; 1 Cor. 7:15).
The second reason for permitting a divorce is in cases where an unbelieving mate does not desire to live with his or her believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:12-15). Because “God has called us to peace” (v. 15), divorce is allowed and may be preferable in such situations. When an unbeliever desires to leave, trying to keep him or her in the marriage may only create greater tension and conflict. Also, if the unbeliever leaves the marital relationship permanently but is not willing to file for divorce, perhaps because of lifestyle, irresponsibility, or to avoid monetary obligations, then the believer is in an impossible situation of having legal and moral obligations that he or she cannot fulfill. Because “the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases” (1 Cor. 7:15) and is therefore no longer obligated to remain married, the believer may file for divorce without fearing the displeasure of God.
🎯The Possibility of Remarriage
Remarriage is permitted for the faithful partner only when the divorce was on biblical grounds. In fact, the purpose for a biblical divorce is to make clear that the faithful partner is free to remarry, but only in the Lord (Rom. 7:1-3; 1 Cor. 7:39).
Those who divorce on any other grounds have sinned against God and their partners, and for them to marry another is an act of “adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). This is why Paul says that a believing woman who sinfully divorces should “remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband” (1 Cor. 7:10-11). If she repents from her sin of unbiblical divorce, the true fruits of that repentance would be to seek reconciliation with her former husband (Matt. 5:23-24). The same is true for a man who divorces unbiblically (1 Cor. 7:11). The only time such a person could remarry another is if the former spouse remarries, proves to be an unbeliever, or dies, in which cases reconciliation would no longer be possible.
The Bible also gives a word of caution to anyone who is considering marriage to a divorcee. If the divorce was not on biblical grounds and there is still a responsibility to reconcile, the person who marries the divorcee is considered an adulterer (Mark 10:12).
🎯The Role of the Church
Believers who pursue divorce on unbiblical grounds are subject to church discipline because they openly reject the Word of God. The one who obtains an unbiblical divorce and remarries is guilty of adultery since God did not permit the original divorce (Matt. 5:32; Mark 10:11-12). That person is subject to the steps of church discipline as outlined in Matthew 18:15-17. If a professing Christian violates the marriage covenant and refuses to repent during the process of church discipline, Scripture instructs that he or she should be put out of the church and treated as an unbeliever (v. 17). When the discipline results in such a reclassification of the disobedient spouse as an “outcast” or unbeliever, the faithful partner would be free to divorce according to the provision for divorce as in the case of an unbeliever departing, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:15. Before such a divorce, however, reasonable time should be allowed for the possibility of the unfaithful spouse returning because of the discipline.
The leadership in the local church should also help single believers who have been divorced to understand their situation biblically, especially in cases where the appropriate application of biblical teaching does not seem clear. For example, the church leadership may at times need to decide whether one or both of the former partners could be legitimately considered “believers” at the time of their past divorce, because this will affect the application of biblical principles to their current situation (1 Cor. 7:17-24). Also, because people often transfer to or from other churches and many of those churches do not practice church discipline, it might be necessary for the leadership to decide whether a member’s estranged or former spouse should currently be considered a Christian or treated as an unbeliever because of continued disobedience. Again, in some cases this would affect the application of the biblical principles (1 Cor. 7:15; 2 Cor. 6:14).
🎯Repentance and Forgiveness
In cases where divorce took place on unbiblical grounds and the guilty partner later repents, the grace of God is operative at the point of repentance. A sign of true repentance will be a desire to implement 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, which would involve a willingness to pursue reconciliation with his or her former spouse, if that is possible
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